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| My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face | 
 enlarge | List Price: $23.95
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Avg. Customer Rating:  (based on 110 reviews)
Sales Rank: 1150
Category: Book
Author: Michael Ian Black
Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Studio: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Manufacturer: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Label: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 240
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.7 x 1
ISBN: 1416964053
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602
EAN: 9781416964056
ASIN: 1416964053
Publication Date: July 15, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 105 more reviews...
His Custom Van September 7, 2008
Was it funny? Sometimes. Was it worth it? Arguably so; but more on that in a moment. Did I enjoy it? I did, for several reasons.
They don't necessarily take the book in its "given context," though.
I'm extremely hard to please when it comes to comedy. As a matter of fact, I feel about comedy as many people feel about drama: I find a lot of it manipulative. I laugh at very little of it. Consequently, I avoid much of it. In life, we learn to avoid what we feel is wasting our time.
I laughed three or four times while reading this book, and laughed hard twice. And no, I'm NOT trying to be funny when I say that that is genuinely an achievement on the part of the author.
I noticed some other things, however, that other reviews might not (?) be covering.
He's got an excellent vocabulary, great rhythm as a writer, and great imagination. For that reason, I liked many of the essays for how strange they were, quite frankly. I looked forward to amusingly weird vignettes which appeared under the heading "erotic fiction" at several points in the book; a "sample chapter" from a (probably nonexistent) novel near the end genuinely had me in suspense; and he's definitely got an eye for detail. I loved the use of LOL in several essays that obviously had nothing to do with the online world; and if you blink, you might miss some of the humor on its subtlest levels (such as a switch from second person to first in one of the "erotic fiction" essays). And who else would write a pointlessly bizarre essay about a carnival on which two people are spying from a nearby hillside? ... with no "big surprise" at the end; that's the entire point of the piece?
So I didn't entirely enjoy the book for its own "stated" purpose, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It would be interesting to see Black put out a book where he was just being flat-out weird, without necessarily trying to be funny. At times, I was reminded of absurdism and Oulipo. His writing is evocative in ways that indicate a talent above and beyond the "humor" department.
 Laughing Out Loud September 7, 2008
If you do not want to laugh, then you better not read this book. Michael Ian Black is not your typical writer. His book contains essays that are very creative, humorous, and sometimes downright naughty. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. His subject matter for his essays are zany and wonderfully original. For example, I bet that you never thought to write letter to a squirrel, to use a Day Glo Marker to color an unmentionable, or how you could have a debate with yourself to get you to eat dog poop. He even has a foreword written by Abraham Lincoln. Who knew that Abe knew Michael Ian Black? LOL!
This is a great book for bathroom reading since they are quick reads and each essay is only a couple of pages long. So, if you are feeling slightly frustrated, angry, or sad, this book will change your mood for the better real quick. Enjoy!
"Now we will join forces, You and I." September 7, 2008
My Custom Van is an excellent book to read when you're in the mood for a good laugh. Although every essay isn't laugh-out-loud funny, the ones that are are well spaced so you never feel that one part of the book was better than the other. It evokes the spirit of Ellen Degeneres' books through absurd comedy. The first tip off? The foreward is "written" by Abraham Lincoln. Need more? How about an essay on the merits of vampires on the economy? Or maybe you'd like to meditate about salami. Ever think a squirrel looked cheap? Want to have a taco party? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, this book is for you.
If you are a fan of Michael Ian Black, you will enjoy this book, especially if you can imagine his delivery of each essay. If you are not a fan, perhaps this book will make you become one.
A very funny debut from a very funny guy September 7, 2008
If you know Michael Ian Black from his TV appearances (ED, THE STATE, STELLA, VH1) or film work (WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER, directing WEDDING DAZE) you know he is a very funny guy.
With MY CUSTOM VAN, he proves that he is an equally funny writer.
Similar in some ways to Jack Handey, only more absurd, MY CUSTOM VAN is a collection of 50 essays. Each runs 2-4 pages. Most of them are fall on the floor funny.
My favorite, his series of angry and abusive letters to a squirrel. Yes, a squirrel. I don't think I will ever be able to look at a squirrel without thinking of his line, saying he doesn't think the squirrel is cute, writing "I think you look cheap".
Many of the essays in the book make me want to give the book 5 stars, but there are a couple that aren't quite at that level.
It is well worth picking up.
Funny For Short Attention-Spans September 7, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I have no attention span; It's hard to actually commit to writing a review, but I had a ball reading My Custom Van. The essays are short, quick witted and funny.
I really liked it and can't believe some of the Amazon Vine reviews that make it out to be some horrible book. I'm a big fan of Michael Ian Black, so maybe I'm just being a fanboy. But, I've been big fans of other things and wanted to bury them. I'll go with, this book is actually funny.
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